She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
