super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
