Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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