You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
