That's when you crack a 10am beer
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
