That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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