The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
