Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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