If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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