My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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