We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize