My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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