Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just made my gag reflex go away.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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