the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
