well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
