I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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