So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
