weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
