He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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