why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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