woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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