Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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