I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's blow job season.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
