i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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