if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you would pick up someone in the library
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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