Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
