sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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