stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
