After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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