Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
