i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
