You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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