I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
