Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
