just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Fuck appropriateness.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
