i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
