i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
