I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
