Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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