so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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