Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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