Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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