Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Randomize
