just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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