Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Found the puke drawer
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
