i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
