I wish I only lived at night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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