Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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