don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
