You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
