Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
