So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
