hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
