I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
