we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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