well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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