My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
