Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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