I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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