Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
