you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
