I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
