How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
