the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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