The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
