Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
