Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
