youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize