I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
