Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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